Meanwhile, here in the real world of working full-time, parenting full-time and doing all sorts of other things with my time, I submit to you a list of actual ways to simplify my life:
1. Cleaning service.
Just someone to keep up the laundry and kitchen. How much laundry can three people generate?? I never fall below 8 loads, and I do at least a load every day of the week and about five-six on the weekends. And dishes. If only we had a fancy white box that we could put dishes into and they would be sprayed with detergent and become clean and dry...we are pitiful, aren't we?
Time savings=26 hours/week
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| If women ruled the tech world, this would already be a done deal. |
Try though I might, I cannot get this mojo rolling. Something always foils my plans. Like yesterday, when I ran to Publix to get bread and creamer on my lunch break. And came out with $68 worth of stuff, (like fish sauce!?) and NO BREAD. And I had a list on my phone. They hide bread in our Publix. It's like a freakin' scavenger hunt in that place.
Time savings=8.4 hours/week
3. Bedtime Nanny.
Is it just me or does it take an average of 2.39 hours per night to put a four-year-old to bed? I feel like we start bedtime and it never ends. Or I end up falling asleep squished into the side of a racecar bed and stumbling to the big bed around midnight. And please, have her there on Saturday mornings from 7 - 9 am and Sunday afternoons from 1 - 4 pm. That's not asking too much, really.
Time savings=21.73 hours/week
4. Magic box of whatever-toy-kid-is-asking-for-today.
My blessed boy has a room-full of books and toys, but he always asks for the one I haven't seen in a month. Or I hid because I was tired of it. Or took away because he was acting foolishly with it. Or secretly dreamed of putting in the shredder because I couldn't bear to hear the beeps, whistles, and songs anymore...
Time savings=4.2 hours/week
5. Automatic snack maker.
Kidlet just isn't QUITE old enough to fix or find all the snacks just yet. Soon, though. Meanwhile, I'd like a personal vending machine that dispenses fresh fruit, cheese crackers or goldfish in moderation, and the right ratio of juice-to-water in a spillproof cup. While we're dreaming, dish out pizza for breakfast...not too crispy and no drippy cheese.
Time savings=5.9 hours/week
6. A work of fiction.
I'm going to need something to fill my "extra" 66.23 hours/week now! Maybe I could read. A book. An actual book. Oh, the luxury! Of course, after I get another 1.5 hours of sleep/day and add back in workouts, I'm left with a mere extra 48 hours. I think fall TV season is starting. I could watch an actual SHOW, too!
I have worked myself into a state of ignorant, dreamlike bliss.
Boom. Six easy ways to simplify my life.
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